FULL SELF EXPRESSION

Last Thursday and Friday three of my girl friends and I went "glamping" at the Dunes Edge camp ground in Provincetown, MA.  Yes, we had our tents and blankets for sleeping but we also hung our prayer flags, threw down a table cloth dance floor (and used it), hung up some moo moo dresses just because the fabric was cool and brought some fun cups, candles and food to round out the fun.  It was a magical camp site.  That is what "glamping" is.

On Friday morning after a brief rain shower we ventured in to the down town area for some lunch, shopping and gallery hopping.  I had never been to Provincetown before so was really looking forward to it.  Every time I mentioned or heard about the place people would say how it was heavily populated by gays and lesbians.  Being gay was accepted there so they could freely hold hands or kiss without being judged by others. Sometimes there were gay parades or performances on the street that were very entertaining as well.  Sounded like a place of full self expression.  I love fully expressed people.  They are interesting and you know where you stand with them.  It feels very honest or something. I think that is why the gals I was with are my friends.

What does full self expression mean?  It means to love fully, to wear what you want, to put your creativity to work where ever and when ever you can and by all means to have a great time with what ever you do.  It means to speak up, ask for what you need and to laugh, dance and play like ya just don't care who is watching.   We felt our campsite was a great start to our own self expression.

My friend Kelly, who has always loved a good costume, either for dancing or just for the heck of it, was really going for it that day.  She loves Goldie Hawn, especially in the movie "Private Benjamin," so in staying with the outdoors camping theme decided to dress a bit like her.  She started with her rainbow leg warmers (just because she had them), her short shorts and rain boots and then found a great army helmet, peace sticker for the front and a t-shirt that read "Kiss me, I'm a wee bit Irish."  It was a crazy mixed up outfit but she wore it well and put some great attitude behind it.  Fully expressed.

What was so fun though was even though this outfit might get sneers and jeers from our local towns people, Kelly got looks but ones of "hey, cool hat," or "great socks."  Her uniqueness was embraced.  This is what I came to LOVE about Provincetown and will always remember.  Everyone seemed to embrace what ever it was you were expressing.

We were all so grateful to be there on the day the supreme court passed the gay marriage law.  I felt honored to share in this wonderful and hopeful news from our government.  Thus far we citizens have been allowed to bear arms (something that kills people) but not marry who we wanted legally (something that shows love towards each other.)  The passing of this law seemed like a no brainer to me.  Gays and lesbians all around the world have already committed to each other as if legally married so why not add in the final piece and make it legally recognized by our government.  I think everyone wants on some level to be accepted in the ways that they express themselves.  We are all unique humans but have a need to fit in sometimes and feel accepted.  I would feel horrible if someone told me that loving my man Jim was wrong;  that it was against what God wanted.  How can any kind of loving of another be wrong?

Our self expression carried on as we found a place called the Dockslip. It held a Tea Party from 4:00 to 7:00 PM every day which included cocktails on the outside deck and disco type dancing under the roof top dance floor.  We were in. Great hours for us fifty plus year olds.  We were some of the first people to arrive at the Tea Party so we hung out on the waterfront patio with our beverages while others began to stroll in.  There were some men in bikinis and cowboy hats who loved having photos with everyone, a mixed bag of other men and women and two great gals who were there together and couldn't figure out what was up with us.  "Lesbian, straight?" they asked after about a half hour of laughing and chatting.  "All straight." we said.  "Friends for many years."  They accepted us and continued to chat and then we all headed to the dance floor.

The floor was already packed so we just jumped in with our new friends and started with our greatest dance moves.  What struck me was that here was such a mix of gay, lesbian, straight and who knows what else but no one cared either way.  We were just a bunch of humans having fun on a dance floor celebrating love with full self expression.  Our arms were in the air and our smiles were big. It was freeing, fun, made us laugh like crazy and we felt welcome, accepted and embraced by all the other crazies who were there.

Thank you Provincetown for a wonderful weeks end and for embracing us four straight women in to your town of gays and lesbians.  Not once did we feel out of place.  Your full self expression around love, outfits and parties was heart warming and I hope that we can come back soon to feel that happy town feeling again.  To all you readers, be fully self expressed and accept others who are too.  It is freedom, it is joy and it is your right as long as you are not hurting anyone else in the mean time.  What could be wrong with that?

PHOTO CREDIT: Kelly Clemens

When Life Gives You Snow... Make Hot Chocolate

It is amazing how quickly we can be convinced of something and we don't even realize it is happening.

This morning my son came in as we were watching the news.  There was an add on for the local weather group and how we should watch them because they are so accurate and up to date.  The images that accompanied the add were of "severe" weather.  There were clips of snowy highways, people plowing their driveways and forecasters standing in blizzard conditions.  The funny thing was there was background music playing that sounded like it was from a horror movie.

My thirteen year old son says, "Geez, you would think the world was ending looking at this add."

I thought that was an insightful observation.  He noticed the perspective of the news add to be one of gloom and doom when we get a snow storm.  It was one of messes, crazy driving, awful conditions and so on.  So, yes, we see that sometimes don't we?

The mind of a child however, sees, sledding, schools out, hot chocolate, snow men and snow ball fights.  Big storms become a time to play, get excited by change in routine and just plain fun.  I remember the big storm we had last winter and it was pretty crazy for this area.  There was about 2-3 feet of snow, the power went out for a bit and there were a few cold neighbors who did not have generators to run their heating systems.  What was nice though, is our normal routine stopped with full permission from Mother Nature.  We HAD to slow down.  The world (our neighborhood) got quiet.  We all bundled up, went outside to begin our plowing and trekked around the neighborhood making sure everyone was OK.  We had an elderly woman who lives alone come over to stay warm and she sat and knitted all day on our couch.  We had a few other neighbors over for a spaghetti dinner that night because we had a gas stove that still worked and everyone chipped in as they could.  It was actually a pretty magical day.

I know that for some, these kinds of storms can be very difficult but what I offer here is a new perspective on how we view things and how others effect how we view things.  Make up your own mind about your experiences and see what happens.  If you tend to look at snow storms as gloom and doom see if you can shift over and give in to the experience.  Put more attention on the beauty, the pace and the fun that can come from such events.  It is a choice.  Personally, I am not a big fan of winter so I practice looking for my hot chocolate often.  Stay warm this season.

When I want to have a good cry I put on sad music, when I want to laugh I go play in the snow.  Happy Winter to the little kid in all of you.

YOU RUINED MY NIGHT. NO YOU RUINED IT.

The other night I was standing at the shore of Brenton Point, Newport waiting for a young couple to show up for an engagement photo session with me.  It was going to be a surprise proposal from the guy to his girlfriend so it was pretty exciting.  I was at my designated spot on the side of the road looking out at the water so the future groom would see me and know to walk in my direction when he arrived.  It was a gorgeous evening; the sun was low and the air warm.  I was taking a few shots of flowers, the water and some fishermen and women when all of a sudden a family of moped riders came down the road.

I could hear some yelling from a man.  "You're getting a flat tire, pull over, you're getting a flat."

As I looked over my shoulder the family pulled to the ocean side of the road and stopped.  There were three mopeds.  One had two teens on it;  a boy and a girl.  The other had the mom and a young girl of about 8 and then the dad and a young son of about 13 or so.  They were stopped about five feet from me.

"Great," the dad yells. "How did you get a flat for Christ's sake?"

"I don't know, how should I know?  She was wiggling all over the place back here and touching everything." she yelled as she pointed to the young girl as if her wiggling had caused the flat.

"Well, our night is freakin' ruined.  We can't get to our destination now and we have no God damn way to get these bikes back. You are going to have to go to a gas station or something and fill that up.  God, our night is ruined."  The dad was raging.

I couldn't believe how this man was talking to his wife.  The poor young girl was now off Mom's moped looking out at the water.  It was a spectacular evening.  She had the right idea.  Meanwhile, the Mom is now yelling at Dad, "Well, what do you want me to do?"

"You ride back and go to the gas station! What do you think?" He mine as well have added dumb bitch to the end of the answer based on his tone of voice.

By this time I was feeling anxious.  Their energy was so negative and I just couldn't believe how mean they were to each other.  It looked like they were on vacation or at the least were spending an evening together as a family.  I have no idea where they were going but where they broke down sure was nice.  If they had taken one moment to even notice the scenery I think they would have calmed right down.  I mean really, how could the mom even have been at fault for the flat tire?  The Dad didn't even seemed concerned for their safety.  He was just mad and wanted to get where they were going.  He could have offered some kind words of "Wow, let's get this fixed so you and my daughter will be sure to be safe."

So as the Mom decides to zoom off she "dumps" the daughter off as the Dad suggests she ride with him (and with the other boy who was already on the same moped).

"She can't ride with you.  She is too wiggly and touches everything." she yelled.  "Good luck with that."

The poor girl looked beaten down.  I got the impression she was blamed for more things than this on a regular basis.

The Mom zoomed off as the young girl climbed in front of the Dad, Dad in the middle and the third rider, the boy, on the back of the moped.  Not safe.  Off they went, anger a blaze.  The two teens on the third moped who had been rolling their eyes the whole time and wisely staying quiet, tried to start their moped.  It took them a couple tries and I thought, " Oh man, what an ending to this whole thing.  Now Dad will yell at them for not keeping up."

This is what could have happened if you ask me and it would not have been ruined at all.

"Honey, you are getting a flat.  You better pull over so you don't get hurt."

"Oh, man thanks." says Mom. "Sweetie, hop off while we look at the tire." (to the daughter.)

Dad then could say, "You guys alright?  Ok, so we may not make it to our destination but look where we luckily stopped.  Check out the amazing view."

Mom to the daughter, "Hey, when we get back on the mopeds, try to stay as still as you can so that the bike is steady.  When you wiggle it is hard for me to steer. Too bad we got the flat but let's check out the water view."

All of them could have taken a moment to look at the water while Dad or Mom made a call for help or suggested that one of them zoom back to get some air and join them later while they relaxed.  The night was only ruined because their attitude ruined it.  Sometimes stuff doesn't go as you plan it but if you have time to spend with your family, friends or loved ones than make it good no matter what by being kind and thoughtful towards each other.  No evening could be ruined if that happens, even if you do get a flat tire.

OH, and the girlfriend said yes to the proposal.  The evening was a success.

Moped family, may you be happy, may you be healthy and may you live with ease.

TRY SOMETHING NEW

I was on the radio the other day.  What fun!

My good friend Gail hosts a radio show here in RI on WADK and one of her guests dropped out at the last minute so the evening before the mid day show, she asked me if I could fill in.   The theme was health and mindfulness so I thought I could handle that.  I replied to her text request right away and also followed up with an email.  I didn't want to miss my chance to do something fun with her.

When I showed up at the radio studio I was surprised to see two old friends BJ and Suzi who were also going to be on the show.  I was so happy to see them and be a part of this trio.  I was a bit nervous because speaking to a live audience gives me butterflies in my stomach so being with others I knew made me feel more comfortable.  Plus it meant I didn't have to fill the whole hour with just my story.

Suzi is a hypnotist and BJ is a personal fitness trainer and motivator so I was in great company.  I talked about mindfulness and meditation.

The coolest thing was listening to the others talk about wellness.  There are so many ways to take care of yourself through first recognizing that you want to be healthier and then finding a way to get there.  You could start by getting hynotized to want to work out or eat better.  Then you could hire BJ to train you.  (small plug for each.) And lastly you could decide to meditate to calm your mind and find inner peace.  The thing about all of these is that it might mean you are taking a leap from your normal behaviors or habits.  You are trying something new.

Speaking on the radio was something new for me.  I am a photographer and now an author of a book.  Who knew?  I decided one day to take a leap and try writing and said yes to being on the radio with little or no prep time.  What the heck.  I really had nothing to loose.  I have been meditating for about nine years now and know how much it has helped me so I knew what to talk about.  I also have a mindful photography course that I developed that I could share so I was ready.

Each day can present an opportunity for growth and exploration into something new but if you are not mindful of what is presented you will not be able to take advantage of what life is offering in each moment.  Stay open and receptive to life.  Get unstuck by exploring, getting curious or trying something new.  It's fun!  If there is something you have wanted to change in your life, look around for a way to do it.  There are so many modalities out there for every type of personality.  Not everyone is going to want to sit on a cushion for half an hour each day and meditate but they might want to practice being mindful while they do the dishes or when they go to the bathroom.  We all do that!  Instead of changing your whole diet all at once, take out one unhealthy food a week and replace it with something good. Find an exercise that you enjoy.  Dance, hike or go bowling if you don't like the gym or running.

The point is to not get stuck in a way of thinking about something.  Your way of thinking needs to be new as well.  We sometimes don't know what we don't know so ask around.  See what is out there that might be a change you can handle.  Baby steps.

If you want to hear the radio show go to http://wadk.com/podcasts/open-forum-with-dave-rogers.  The show aired 2/19 and its under the Open Forum with Ryan Belmore.

Thanks Gail for inviting me to the show in the first place.

Namaste people.